They'll Love it in Pomona....................... —They'll Love it Everywhere.

I was contacted about a year ago by the lovely Miss Eve Therond to write a column for Whitewall, a new super glossy art magazine published twice yearly .. I had pitched her a few ideas, keeping them rather proper, if not a bit stuffy, until she told me she wanted something more informal, something effervescent, something charming and nonchalant, or as I might call it, my usual nonsense ..

So I sent her a story about my lusting after Dave Choe during an exhibition of his work of drawings and paintings done in a Tokyo prison of his own piss and blood (really, they were much sweeter than they sound) .. She loved it, and thus a column dedicated to my crushes was born ..

But I can't force attraction where it does not exist and after going to a couple of opening that were absolutely flat, I mean nothing exciting at all, not even the work, I was a lil desperate .. Fortunately my honey Jim Jocoy was showing a selection of his work at Queens Nail Annex in the Mission, San Francisco, that I had planned to attend for the weekend, because there is something a bit glamorous about a cross country flight to attend an art opening .. And you might imagine my surprise to walk in and see a photo of me on the wall ..

Okay, you might not be so surprised. You might even know Jim is my personal photographer, and has taken some of the best photos of me over the past 5 years. And I am rather pleased to be in the same company as John Waters, Exene Cervenka, John Doe, Johnny Thunders, Thurston Moore, Michael Jackson, Sid Vicious, and Iggy Pop—as well as countless fabulous people whose names are only known within their circle.

The wonderful thing about Jim is that he feeds my vanity, like an old lady feeding squirrels. He just keeps peppering me with these lil bon mots that have me thinking I'm the greatest star. It's really quite lovely. And while I really did not like the photo of me he had in the show, because I know how I felt when he shot it (half dead, which is why everyone says I look so peaceful), I am honored he had included me in the show. Although, Jim sweetie honey, next time you know: I get photo approval.

So yea, I covered the show in the new issue of Whitewall, which is due out June 20th. It debuted in Cannes, where Eve tells me everyone from Bono to 50 Cent to Liz Hurley was reading it. Imagine that. They are reading all about me declaring my true love for—me, me, Norma Desmond.